Being a Better Man

How freaking awesome is this?

Courtesy of, and used with permission from: Puss in Boots.


Through the magic that is Facebook, I have come across this: Be a Better Man in 30 Days .

My significant other does not need this, as he is already the epitome of an awesome man. I don’t talk about him much, because that would be weird, but suffice it to say that he is supremely supportive and incredible. If anyone ever does a study to figure out how writers end up with such amazing partners, I’m in.

Sooooo. As I was reading through the things to do on that list, I was thinking – what a fantastic list of stuff! I have all these therapy tools that I don’t like – write a list of things you like about yourself; say affirmations to the mirror, etc. And it’s not that I don’t think they work for other people. I know that they do. I just . . . it’s so . . . ick. It doesn’t work for me! (To other folks suffering from, well, anything: The statement ‘It just doesn’t workfor me’ is your get-out-of-jail-free card. No one can argue with you. If they try, you’re allowed to smack them across the face with a glove and shout things like: “The citadel at dawn, you blaggard!”)

My point is, I do still need things to do. Call it psychiatric homework. I don’t want to just medicate the hell out of myself for the rest of my life, and I want to move forward. Last week I had a ‘down’ day (The result of too much caffeine. I had no idea the effect ‘coming down’ from six espresso could have, but there I was, curled up on the couch, staring in to the void. One-cup-per-day limit for me from now on.) and in a sudden flash, I actually recognized it for what it was: Not the truth about me, not even a genuine feeling, just a bunch of too much coffee trying to work its way out of my body. I’m not saying it made me feel any better at the base level, but it allowed me to do some self-care: Do some yoga. Have a cup of tea. Take a hot bath. And go to bed early. I woke up feeling just fine.

After the ‘down day,’ I realized I’ve been coasting on the meds a little bit. I want to get back into doing the work of improving myself and my self-awareness on a daily basis. Not too long ago this would have seemed like a full-time job, but right now I think it’s something to which I could comfortably devote a few hours a day and still do everything else.

Back to the’s series from June 2009. This stuff is great! Day 1: Define Your Core Values. Day 8: Start a Journal. (I will, if history is any indication, keep that up for about three days before I get bored and add it to my box of sixteen journals, the first four pages of which are filled with crappy handwriting. But it doesn’t matter!) Day 17: Talk to 3 Strangers. These are all great things for anyone to do, and a lot of them make for great homework. Plus, there are these people who walk their GOAT on a LEASH in the park by my house, and I suddenly REALLY need to know why.

Day 11: Give Yourself a Testicular Exam.

Yeah, all right, so I’ll have to work around some of them.

Anyway, I’m thinking of doing each one in a separate blog post. This also commits me to writing 30 blog posts in 30 days. What do you think? Would you be interested in reading about this?


P.S. I want to give a little hat tip to Brian Kellett,  here. He wrote to me and suggested that I quit with the self-denigrating shit, as it was taking away from the flow of my blog. (though he didn’t say it quite so bluntly. He was very nice about it, which was confusing at first, but I figured it out.) I appreciate it, and noticed how hard I had to fight the impulse while writing this post.


15 thoughts on “Being a Better Man

  1. I am totally in. Not just because my dumb art is in this post, either. I want to hear about who you decide you want to be, why they have a goat on a leash, and whether or not your balls are cancer-free.

  2. I think it is a great idea! And I think you absolutely should give yourself a testicular exam.

    Also, if you take a look at it works pretty well as a journal and shows “streaks” which I find quite motivating in terms of showing up every day.

  3. No poking of the eyeballs allowed, Govoria! Poking of any other balls is your business, I guess …
    I was straining my memory to recall the movie where Jack Nicholson says that great line … “You make me want to be a better man” to Helen Hunt. It’s in “As Good as It Gets” – I finally pulled it out of the archives of my mind and then found it on youtube …
    for anybody who’d like to watch the scene.
    Anyway – go for the 30 days, my dear, and some of us might try some of it too, and then we’ll all be better, uh, men, eh?

  4. Problem is, you women are already stronger and smarter… so just be careful not to race too far in front, ok?

  5. I know! You could be extra efficient, and ask a stranger about their balls. Twofer.

    Yes, I want to read this. Go. Like fast typing fingers.

  6. So where does it say they have to be YOUR testicles?

    ‘Give yourself a testicle exam’ might be at times better interpreted beyond the confining implications of inspecting one’s own male anatomy. Maybe another approach is in order. Something more ‘outside the box,’ as the consultants and new-agers say. Relentlessly.

    ‘Give yourself a testicle exam,’ might in cases be received along the lines of say, ‘give yourself a Kit-Kat (”…give yourself a BREAK!”)’.

    You really only require SOMEBODY’s male anatomy to fulfill the role of regulation gear in this enterprise. As long a pair of testicles examined – not even necessarily from the same set, if you think about it (and don’t, trust me) – the deed is fulfilled.

    Fortuitously, in your case as I understand it, there happens to be quite a man about the residence. Perhaps he could help in a pinch, and show his support.


    • Well, that’s certainly ONE option . . . Maybe I’ll collect a bunch of options and then put up a poll on the blog! It does say: “Well, testicular cancer is the most common malignancy in young men between the ages of 20 and 34.” So presumably I could just figure out what’s most common for women, and go with that. I suspect it’s breast cancer, but the only basis I have for that is that all I see everywhere is PINK RIBBON and PINK WALLET and PINK GROCERIES and RUN FOR PINK.

  7. Pingback: UPDATE – Better Man Project « Eating Money

  8. I laughed all the way through this blog post and comments that I can’t wait for 30 more days of this. Yay humour to keep a girl going. I second Leanna’s suggestion of testi talk with strangers.

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